Last week sucked out loud. It's a boring story about how my job went all purgatorial, but you know I'm not going to spare you the details.

See, I've been "writing" this report, based on the consult meeting I attended with my boss in October. Keep in mind, I'm still learning about what this company does and I've never written a giant report, much less about the type of marketing we do. So, with almost no instruction or help, I've been writing this thing and "finding chunks of research to stick in". I've told my boss that I'm uncertain about what, exactly, I'm doing, but this didn't seem to concern her. Then, she asked for it all on Wednesday. Two days before it was due to be sent to the client. Two days.

You can see where this is going, right? She worked from home for the rest of the week and sent me massive amounts of email, detailing every single thing I'd screwed up. Which was, apparently, all of it. She'd send two emails with two different tasks that needed to be done ASAP, then an hour later two more would appear, then two more. It didn't stop for three days. I spent the rest of the week (including part of Saturday) fixing it and changing it and reformatting it and scrounging up bits of research to make it all work. I sat hunched over my monitor, back in spasms, stomach in spasms (that's where my stress likes to party the most), convinced she was going to fire me the minute it was finished.

Today she stayed home for most of the day, while I raged quietly inside and wondered what was involved in getting a fitness instructor certification. Then, at 4:45pm, she walks in the door and says she wants to meet with me in a few minutes. I sweat. At 5:30 (passive-aggressive much? I'm supposed to get off at 5pm) she calls me in her office. And is totally nice. Soooo, not fired?

Gah! I cannot figure her out. She freaks out on me for three continuous days, then acts like nothing happened? Fine. We'll see, though, because I have a review tomorrow and she might be saving up her passive-aggressive joy for that. I'll keep you posted.

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Continuing list of random things I'm mildly obsessed with:

Anderson Cooper, my new boyfriend. He's smart and snarky and oddly hot. Okay, really hot. He's totally not my type, which only makes him more attractive. My #1 boyfriend is still Sam Rockwell, and that won't change unless he pulls a Tom Sizemore and turns out to be a total creep, but I can't see it happening. My friend Kate sent me this article from The Onion today, which I think is entirely appropriate for this section. It's a good thing I don't live in LA or I'd be a total stalker for a living.

Pomegranate. Hot damn, there's nothing more beautiful to eat than a pomegranate, is there? I adore them. Plus, if you eat one at your desk, you'll cover everything with a fine spray of pink droplets, including your new flat-screen monitor. Oops.

Burberry Brit. I know the whole Burberry plaid thing has gotten way out of control, but the perfume smells really, really good. Also, doesn't it just scream "well-scented anglophile"? Impulsive! Sexy! Complete Wanker!

Christmas Lights. I cannot, cannot, cannot wait to cover our wee house with as many lights as possible. I'm not even classy about it- bring on the blinking! colored! lights! Nothing's too tacky for our first house Christmas. Yeah.

14 chatty monkeys