That Girl's a Different Girl Today.
Thursday, Apr. 27, 2006 @ 12:06 p.m.

I have a ton of stuff to tell you guys about and I don't even know where to start. I keep notes and lists, just so y'all know. I have one list that's called "odd things that strangers tell me" and another called "grudges I'll never let go of" and another called "how to be an introvert." All of these things will eventually show up here, so stay tuned!

I really want to tell you guys about my new gym that just opened, but I think last weekend needs to be addressed before all the good details leak out of my head and get replaced with all the crazy new gossip about Denise Richards and Heather Locklear. All of that craziness is over Ritchie Sambora! I mean, Ritchie Sambora? I do not even begin to understand. ANYWAY, here goes.

Wet is the New Dry

Last weekend was a double-threat: a huge indie craft show (for which we were partially responsible) on Saturday and a funfunfun bike race on Sunday. Yay! Nothing like two stress-filled days in a row! I was excited about the show on Saturday, but not excited by the weather report. It started with "occasional showers" and by Friday night the Weather Channel was calling for the next Armageddon or something. It was all, "Hail! Severe Storms! Most certainly driving rain!" I was fa-reaking out.

The show was to be held at the Farmer's Market which has an open roof, but I was really worried that people wouldn't show up if it rained - Richmond is a fickle place and new events are a tough sell. But boy, did we sell it. We advertised, we fliered the hell out of the town and we even went on the radio! I got to be part of a live radio interview and talk about how important it is to support local and independent artists. And it really is, people.

Anyway, Saturday dawned dreary and grey but we went out and set up at 7am and hoped for the best. Everything went really smoothly - vendors showed up, everyone set up in time and the rain held off...until 10am when the show started. It rained. It rained and rained and rained and paused and then rained some more. But you know fucking what? People CAME ANYWAY. We got really good crowds and they were shopping! They brought money and bought stuff!

So, in spite of all the craziness with the weather, we all had a fantastic (though wet) day. Richmond impressed me, I gotta say. (except for those of you who didn't show up, but y'all are dead to me and I CAN'T EVEN LOOK AT YOU. No. Go away. I need to be alone.) And people? It was GOOD STUFF. There was some serious talent at this show. No kountry krafts! Check it out:

http://www.richmondcraftmafia.com/springbadabing/vendors.htm

I mean, shit, where else can you buy a stuffed zombie squid or a button that says DANG! on it?

After it was over we all went for a celebratory drink and then I rolled home, wet and dirty, to face the reality of a bike race on a course that was no longer bone-dry. Shit. I had practiced that course a fair amount but only when it was dry. Wet is another thing entirely. Wet changes challenging hills into muddy sluiceways and tree roots into slick tire-flippers. I was bummed. Not the race I'd prepared for at all. It never is.

So we get up, pack up all the stuff and get out to the course early, or so I thought. It turns out that, hey! The Sport Women start time had been moved from noon to 10am and I totally missed the memo. I stood there blankly when she told me and then a sweet silver cloud of happiness surrounded me as I realized, I don't have to race! I can just sit on my ass and watch everyone else suffer! Ahha. Ha ha ha. No. The registration woman was not going to let me off that easy. "It's fine! We can just put you in with the Expert/Pro women - that way you at least get to ride!"

... ... ...yay.

So yes, I "raced" with the Expert/Pro women which is laughable. It is a hoot, even. It might have been not-too-terrible if the course was dry, hell, I might have even been able to do the three laps instead of two. However, there was one BIG flaw in this whole thing - Expert Women start before the Sport Men.

(Hold up, let me explain right quick. In a mountain bike race everyone races the same course at the same time but the start is set up in waves, so they send off the fastest riders first, wait a few minutes, then send off the next wave, etc. )

Please understand, I am not fast like Expert Women and I am CERTAINLY not fast like Sport Men. So, the race starts and I'm on the course going as fast as I can without crashing or hacking up a lung and every five minutes another big pack of Sport Men come rumbling up behind me, wanting to pass. At this point I knew I wasn't going to be racing anything, so I started pulling over and letting them by. I rode two slow, muddy laps at my own leisurely non-race pace and it was fine, if a little boring. Racing isn't very exciting if you have, you know, no one with whom to race.

I do have a funny little story though, about which I've teased Kenny endlessly. Hey, not my fault I'm cute as hell on a bike. At the beginning of my second lap I heard a rider coming up behind me fast. The Pros are so fast that when they pass you, you don't even have time to see them. This guy was riding like the devil was on his ass, so I figured he was probably in the lead and pulled over to let him by. As he passed he said, "Thank you! ... I love you!" Ha! So cute. I checked the stats later and I actually do think he was the Pro leader and he did win the race and I helped. Sweet!

I checked my race results too and I'm listed as DNS (did not start) under Sport Women and DNF (did not finish) under Expert Women. So I managed to race without starting or finishing. A new record! I celebrated by eating everything in my path for the next two days. Yes I did.

3 chatty monkeys

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