Ooh! I am slack to the maxx, and judging by the amount of comments I got on my last entry, I am also BORING. But shit, ain't that why you love me so? It is an appalling day, here at the University of Nevercloses. It has been snow/sleet/raining all damn day and every other school in town is closed except for the one where I work. I could seriously use a snow day, but whatever. If they want me to end up in a ditch, that's not on my conscience. Also not on my conscience: the look I gave the annoying-as-all-fuck mail guy when he stuck his head in my office and yelled "WHO'S GOING TO GIVE THE MAILMAN A HOT CUP OF SOUP?" I'll give him a cup of freaking soup. What an asshole. Every time he does it I jump a mile because, people! I face away from the door and I can't see you coming until you're yelling right behind me. I'm going to start throwing shit at him, I swear to god. Also? He looks like a deranged hobbit.

Moving on, I had a pretty decent weekend, mostly spent with Kate, plotting our takeover of the under-the-table jewelry making and selling world. So far we've made -$35 or something like that, but we have a couple of shops that want stuff and that's a start. It's pretty exciting and a little scary. We'll see how things go. Here's a sample of the kind of stuff we're making:

Nothing much else has been going on worth noting, really. I've been stewing on some stuff that happened when I was a kid and plotting out an entry or two about it. Does anyone else have childhood memories that still rankle 25 years later? Just me? Damn. Maybe I just need to let this stuff go, but it still astonishes me how awful adults can be to kids and, even worse, how awful kids can be to kids. Short version: I had two summer visits to the family farm and I was treated horribly. I feel like maybe if I write about the whole thing, I'll work my way through letting it go. Worth a shot. Check back soon for that. Tempting, I know.

To distract you from the disjointed nature of this entry, here's a picture of Stella!

Aw, kitty.

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Things You Must Buy, Like Right Now

- This is an amazing thing. It's like a cleaning weapon, with a trigger and everything. It's got cleaning power like you can't even believe with the added bonus of being a nifty over-priced gadget thingy that looks like a "massager" if you know what I'm saying. And I think you do.

- These cookies are made for the Gods, people. They are better than thin mints. Yes! I said that right out loud! BETTER THAN THIN MINTS. Imagine, if you will, a chocolate wafer topped with minty goodness, covered in non-waxy dark chocolate. Oh, so good.

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One Word Movie Reviews

Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow: Stank
Wimbledon: Sweet
What a Girl Wants: Hee!
Hidalgo: Ponies!
The Manchurian Candidate: Yikes
Collateral: Damn
I, Robot: Eh
Finding Neverland: Dear

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Oh my God, Janet.

Hebert's Family Restaurant - In An Old Shell Station In Cleveland (nice title, Janet.)

Highlights include:

"You will also find Bologna on their menu!" (Um. Yay. I guess.)

"Breakfast Sandwiches and Biscuit �sandwiches�." (Because, if it's on a biscuit, it's just a "sandwich".)

"I ordered two soft scrambled eggs (I know, I was pushing my luck again) with Sausage and even though it was going against my diet, I had to go with the Biscuits and Gravy. I also ordered a small serving of Grits." (Wait, is she still pretending to be on Atkins? Janet, if you really want to lose weight, how about not ordering, like, everything on the menu?)

And why the random capitalization? It drive me crazy. She capitalized every food word except for eggs. Wha? Janet, biscuits and gravy are not proper nouns, even if they're on a menu!

Oh, she sucks so completely. I hope she never stops.

13 chatty monkeys