I've been busy this week, but I save little snippets of information on a notepad on my computer so I don't forget what I want to write about. The result is a disjointed array of odd stories that are in no way connected. Works for me.

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So apparently, Stevie Wonder goes to a airfield from time to time so he can drive his Rolls. He calls it Going for a Wonder Ride, which makes laff like a hyena. Who wouldn't want to go for a Wonder Ride?

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Things I don't understand :

- Jason Lee and the Cyclysm. The "Cyclysm" is some random marketing campaign that the Outdoor Life Network has come up with to promote the Tour de France this year. It's heavily Lance-biased, which I find annoying. (Kenny pointed out that when Lance Armstrong retires, televised Tour coverage in the states is going to be nonexistent. Sadly, he's right.) But that aside, what's really strange about this series of commercials is that they consist of a ranting Jason Lee wearing a big wooly sweater. Now, you might wonder, what the fuck does Jason Lee have to do with the Tour de France? Or even cycling? I'll tell you what: NOTHING. He has nothing to do with the sport, so why the hell did he get the gig? It's just strange.

-That Guy. The loud, constantly up-beat HAPPY GUY at work that everyone loves. His specialty is to scare the shit out of me by popping his head around my office door and yelling things like "ALMOST FRIDAY!" or "WORKING HARD OR HARDLY WORKING?!" He always finishes up with "HAVE A BLESSED DAY!" He's such a walking clich�.

The story behind this: Just get me through today. This was the statement uttered by the frazzled manager of the TJ Maxx store I went to last Sunday. Her staff, for whatever reason, was on the verge of revolt and she was following them around limply repeating over and over again: "Just get me through today. Please. Just get me through today." Her staff, mostly of surly-looking young men, seemed unaffected by her pleas and kept trying to get away from her. She was relentless and looked a lot like my high school science teacher right before her nervous breakdown.

I really don't understand college-themed personalized license plates:

U OF WV

UVA4ME

Really, you went to the University of West Virginia? Uh, wow, good to know? Why the hell do people, years after graduating, think anyone gives a crap where they went to college? Apparently everyone around here really, really cares. They also care to have me know what kind of car they're driving, just in case I happen to look, not at the actual car, but just at the license plate. Prime example: I saw a lady driving a Mitsubishi Eclipse with a personalized plate that read: ECLPSE. Wow, that's so...clever. Especially because as part of the car's design, the word ECLIPSE is printed in huge letters across the back of the trunk, right above the license plate. Hey lady, would you like to buy some magic beans? Only $10!

- I've been going to the gynecologist for 14 years of my life and I don't understand why it never gets less weird. There's just something really surreal about having a get-to-know-you chit-chat with someone who's busy feeling around for your uterus. It�s just the oddest combination of physical intrusion and friendliness.

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Lord, this is probably lamest entry, ever. I get out of work at noon today, so I'm fairly distracted by, well, everything. I'll make more sense next week, perhaps.

This week the church sign reads: HAPPY 4th! See ya' next week!

3 chatty monkeys