Take This Job and Shove It
Friday, May. 28, 2004 @ 12:27 p.m.

I ain't workin here no more.

Today is the day. The Last Day. In a few short hours everything will be different and better and I'll be free of the pressing weight of suck that is my job. Goodbye, stupid phone system! Goodbye, State-I-Don't-Live-In support chat! Goodbye, ass-kissy co-worker with the overly loud voice! Goodbye Up With People temp! Goodbye, ugly office with your stupid (and ironic) motivational posters! Goodbye rules that change without notice!

And, a special goodbye to my bitch of a boss, who has been pleasantly ignoring me all week. I would expect nothing less.

I'm so afraid that I'll get struck by lightening at 4:55PM, thus robbing myself of a moment I've been dreaming of for eight long months - leaving and never, ever coming back.

As a special parting gift, I like to imagine my boss's face when she eventually gets the notice that the rebates I sent in late are never going to pay off and that my slackness has cost her many precious dollars. Knowing her, she'll just under-pay a few more temps to make up for it.

So YAY FOR ME. Yay for me for getting the hell out. My new gig is sweet and I didn't get any weird vibe red flags when I interviewed for it. Have said what I'll be doing? I'm going to be a grants research assistant at a private university. The campus is lovely and has a lake with walking paths and a library with many good hidey holes. No more reading in my car! I'm excited. I can't wait to get on with things.

***********

For now, I have a long holiday weekend to look forward to. It's going to be busy, what will various family things going on, and also because of a bike race I swore I'd never do again. Here's last year's entry about it. Okay, I just re-read that entry and now I'm really scared. What am I thinking? But... maybe it won't be so hard this year? I know for sure that I'm a stronger rider now than I was then.

Right Side of My Brain: "So, what are you going to do this holiday weekend, Amblus?"
Left Side of My Brain: "Suffer."
Right Side of My Brain: "Sounds like fun!"

I found out that I came in 7th out of a field of 14 in last Sunday's race, which is pretty damn good. In the middle is better than last place any day. Here are some pictures (from that race) of me being a badass:

Badass #1
Badass #2

***************

Unrelated rant of the day:

The low-carb thing is out of control. OUT. OF. CONTROL. Sure, you might lose weight by cutting carbs, but you can also lose weight by eating nothing but grapefruit or cabbage soup. In essence: It's no way to live, people. Carbs are your friend. They give you energy! They are tasty and good! Plus, any diet that cuts out entire healthy food groups (for example, FRUIT) really is just a big ball of lies.

I think what's really getting me is the rampant fast food marketing. Come, get your low-carb diet friendly double bacon cheeseburger wrapped in lettuce! It's healthy! If by healthy we mean low-carb! Jesus. Eat an occasional cheeseburger if that's what you really want, but don't ever be under the delusion that you're sticking to your healthy diet while doing it.

I went to Subway for lunch the other day, ordered my veggie sub and added "extra carbs on that, please." The guy cracked up. We talked about how low-carb beer is the ultimate insult and that anyone who's against eating carbs doesn't deserve beer. You hear that? YOU DON'T DESERVE YOUR OWN BEER, SNEERING CARB HATER.

I'm Pro-Carb and proud. You heard it here.

Have a good weekend, monkeys!

8 chatty monkeys

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