The Cats? Fired.
Friday, Mar. 12, 2004 @ 4:12 p.m.

This morning, Kenny fired the cats. I woke up to loud, pursed-lip declarations of "Youah Fired!" in the manner of Donald Trump. Apparently the backyard was teeming with birds, most of them pump robins, and the cats were completely blas� about it. Even when we forced them to look out the window, just nothing. No interest at all. "Look, Fuzz! Fat, slow robins! They taste like fried chicken! No, the taste like ORANGE CHICKEN!" Fuzz shrugged and wandered back to her already-captured bowl of kibble. The other two cats were too busy engaging in the first nap of the day to care. Fired, the lot of them.

In other news, it's Friday. This has been a long workweek for the simple reason that I have absolutely nothing to do. My daily tasks take about an hour and I just finished up my big project. What am I working on? Nothing. My boss is out of town this week and it's no good asking one of my co-workers for a project because they'll only give me the dullest of data entry. I've run out of Internet this week. I've planned an elaborate meal for the weekend. I've applied to a job I won't tell you about because I don't want to jinx it. I've researched random items on eBay. I've written more than one journal entry. Whee. What a week.

Currently, my eyes have rolled so far back in my head that I might never regain correct eyeball equilibrium again. Annoying Coworker strikes again. She's currently having the loudest, most butt-kissing phone conversation with my boss that I've ever heard. Holy brown-nose. She's so ingratiating that it sends us all into fits. The guy who's cube is next to hers had to go out for a cigarette break because he couldn't take it anymore.

However, fun can be had with Annoying Coworker, because she's really, really high-strung. The other night we were getting ready to leave and I set the alarm. Then, given that I had a good 60 seconds to get out, I went into the back hall to turn off a light. Annoying Coworker got all nervous and asked how much time we had. I told her and she BOLTED. Ha! One of the other women I work with thought this was hilarious, so when I left last night I loudly announced to her that I'd set the alarm. Annoying Coworker, still hard at work in her cube, let out a horrified shriek and bounced out of her chair.

All in a day's work, people.

Really, I guess I should be detailing all the exciting plans I have for the weekend but I don't really have any? Oh, I have plans, they're just not exciting. Mostly I'll be trying to get more of the living room painted. The first wall is finished and it looks so freaking amazing that I can't wait to do more. I'll also be riding my bike this weekend in idealistic preparation for an upcoming race. Last week's ride of 2 1/2 hours almost killed me, so I really need to get going on the fitness thingy. I don't even know why I bother with racing anymore when I'm almost guaranteed to come in last. Last place rules! I'm old and slow! Here's my $30! I win nothing!

Also planned for the weekend - Girl Scout cookies. Aww, yeah. I bought two boxes from those evil little purveyors of cookie doom. I got tha Thin Mints and tha Samoas, yo. I have no idea why I went all faux-rapper just then. Anyway, the boxes have been sitting on the dining room table, un-opened and unmolested since Wednesday due to our weeknight ban on sugar, but tonight they'll be doled out in an orgy of sugary joy. Or, whatever, we'll just eat them. I have no idea what's wrong with me today.

***************

Happy Link Corner.

Have I linked to Laura's NYC Tales before? It's one of my favorite sites when I need to while away a workday. I discovered it back when I had a job without tasks (like now! Whee!) and spent the better part of a week rationing out her stories. Her latest story is damn funny and you should all read it. You know how cell phone numbers get recycled too fast? Yeah, well, she got a recycled number that formerly belonged to someone famous. Enjoy!

Have a good weekend, monkeys!

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