I haven't done a list in a while, have I?

Simple Pleasures

- My Puffs tissue box with soft-filter photos of puppies and kittens printed on it. It was so absolutely dumb I just had to buy it.

- MAC Eye Paint in Artjam. Have you tried this stuff? Stays on forever. Love it. I have several colors and I swear by this stuff. The Eye Kohl pencils are also big fun. Go buy makeup and tell me about it so I can live vicariously through your purchases!

- I love to do this: When I'm pulled up next to another car at a red light and the driver is singing along to the radio, I like to flip around on my radio and see if I can find the song. This is a rare occurrence, but it's hilarious when it works. Or maybe I'm just easily amused.

- I have iced tea right this very minute. I dearly love living in the south because iced tea is available year-round and you get free refills and everything.

- Have I talked about my dishwasher and my closets? Yes? Damn. I did a final walk-through of our old apartment last night before handing the keys off to the downstairs guys. It made me a little sad to abandon my home of eight years, but then I looked at the cracked walls and hideous floors and I felt a little better. Then I drove home to our new house and felt a lot better. I could just roll around on our nice hardwood floors, I love them so much.

Petty Annoyances

- I was stuck behind the Slowest Driver Ever this morning and noticed that he was one of those non-committal types who tapes bumper stickers to the inside of his back window. Why bother? If you're too fastidious or uncertain about the message your bumper sticker delivers ("Do I really think mean people suck? If I put the sticker on permanently will it make my Camry look too trendy? Will the mean people take it personally and break my window? What if I'm occasionally mean? Will the sticker make me look like a hypocrite? What to do?") just leave it at home. Taping it to your window makes you look like the anal-retentive chef and I will mock you for it.

- The Matrix Reloaded. No, not Revolutions, I'm going to skip that one because, judging by Reloaded, things in the Matrix world have started swirling into a downward suck from which there is no return. I simply don't have more time to waste on nonsensical crap. Have you seen Reloaded? It's utter crap. What happened to hiring actors who act? Why are they all wearing sunglasses underground? (Oh, right.) Why is it so boring? Why doesn't it even try to make sense? Hell, even the action sequences are boring. Also, is it me or do some of the computer animated sequences looked like claymation?

- Dear Blockbuster Video, I hate you. Even though I SWORE two years ago I'd never set foot in another Blockbuster Video, I went Sunday to renew my membership because the store is practically next door to our new house and I was too tired to drive across the bridge to go to my usual excellent local video store. Big mistake. Naturally, I got the Snarkier-than-thou guy who will make fun of you if you rent the wrong thing. You know the guy, he work in record stores too. Apparently, he decided I was "cool" and proceeded to commend me for filling out the form correctly because all the other customers are idiots. Then, he made fun of me in a jokey way (thinking we were all buddy-buddy), which I threw back in his face just to watch him backpedal furiously. During some part of the conversion he mentioned he'd previously worked for Columbia House, which explains a lot. Apparently he had a really bad previous life that he's still paying on.

- Dear U-Haul, Fuck you. See, I reserved a truck on your website three weeks before I needed it so we would HAVE THE TRUCK WHEN WE NEEDED IT, NOT WHEN YOU DECIDE WE MIGHT HAVE IT. It's not my fault the website is misleading about what a reservation means (note: absolutely nothing). I'm glad I cancelled and you can take your bad attitude and shove it in the little storage attic in the damn truck. Dear baby Jesus, what happened to customer service?

- Why do I always work with Freak #1? I am highly annoyed by one of my co-workers. Damn busybody just cannot leave shit alone. Occasionally she'll bring me a company profile that needs a phone or fax number, which is fine. She brings me maybe four or five a day. Can she just hand them to me? No, apparently that's not acceptable. Yesterday she just stood there with the paper in her hand until I looked at her and she finally said "Is there some specific place or box I can put these in?"

Uh, you can put them down right there on my desk?

And then there's the fish. Someone here brought in a bunch of frozen fish filets for everyone to divvy up. I left my two (TWO!) filets in the freezer over the weekend because we were moving. Then I forgot about them. This morning, Annoying Co-worker was all "Are you going to take your fish home today? Because if you don't, they'll have to go to Mary(another co-worker)."

Dude, what? There's a time limit after which I have to forfeit my fish? Who made her the freezer enforcer? I just imagine her checking the freezer every day this week and becoming more and more annoyed when the fish was still there. Maybe I should move it to the refrigerator and see if that buys me some time?

Also, concept of personal space? She has none. I'll turn around in my chair and she's RIGHTTHERE.

Have good weekends my little monkeys!

4 chatty monkeys