Today, work sucked. I know! I was surprised too. Turns out, I'm working way harder than I need to. See, when I was just doing loans for Milton, I did all kinds of extra things for each file- boring things I won't try to explain for fear that you'll drop me off your buddy list out of boredom.

Anyway, when they moved me a few weeks ago, I started doing mass amounts of loan for about 10 different people, but I kept doing all the extra steps because that's what I thought I was supposed to do. However, I've been gradually realizing that the other temps aren't doing these extra things. It usually goes something like this:

"Hey, Larry, do you print out the customer profile page when you verify the 1st mortgage balance?"

blank look

"So, no? You don't print the page?"

"Uh, what do you mean by 'verify the balance'?"

"You...don't...? Mother f..."

This has been happening to me over and over for the past two weeks. I've been doing all the stuff I was originally told to do because nobody bothered to tell me NOT TO.

Also, I know I complain about my temp job a lot, but please don't say "Adrien, you really need to get a new job" because I've really been trying for like a year and a half. A YEAR AND A HALF. I'm like Charlie Brown and the damn football, because every time I send a resume for a job I'm sort of/nearly/just about qualified to do, I naively sit back and wait for the call while I mentally plan out my commute and think about what sort of good lunch places are near my almost-certain new place of employment.

And then, every single time, Lucy pulls that football right out from under me and the phone refuses to ring. Every damn time. And I never really expect it, not really. That's a lot of rejection over a long period of time, people. I don't even like football! Unless it's British football and Beckham Spice is involved. Then maybe.

PS. Good news! Tomorrow is Down With Jesus' last day in our section! Let the relative quiet begin!

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Thing # 101 Removed from the Fox Network Executive's Body? My Foot.

Dear Fox Network Ass-Monkeys,

So, rumor has it "Keen Eddie" is "on hiatus" because of poor ratings. Gee, that's too bad. Maybe the viewership would've been better if people knew when the damn show was on? Sneaky, moving it all around and randomly skipping weeks like that. Sure makes it tricky to watch it. It's definitely better not to give an intelligent non-reality show any kind of chance and to replace it, post-haste, with the scintillating and educational ""101 Things Removed From The Human Body".

Certainly nobody wants to watch a show that's funny, clever and visually cool as hell. Damn hell, no! I want to know what THINGS have been removed from the human body! Specifically, I hope to learn of exactly one more than one hundred things removed from the human body! Bring it on you limey bastards!

Sincerely,

Aw, go to hell. I hate you guys.

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The links my sister sends me, I swear.

Mr. Brain's Faggots.. Yeah, I can't even make fun of this site because really, it's so brilliantly hilarious all by itself. Anything I added would just dilute it's earnestness. I will give you this tip- check out the recipe page. Faggot Kabobs! Faggot Cobbler! See what I mean? I think Mr. Brain would agree.

Those wacky Japanese really like to fuck with hot dogs don't they? I think the koala bear is my favorite. Click on the picture for directions!

0 chatty monkeys