Ah, Friday. Today, for the first time in what feels like months, the weather is beautiful. It's curse word beautiful. Yes, it's fucking beautiful. Warm, sunny, bright blue sky, and big fluffy clouds that are not producing rain. Lovely, or at least I assume it's lovely. I am sitting in a gray cube in a gray office with gray co-workers. Yay, and also, sob. It's like reverse water torture- I'm being tortured by the lack of rain. Must. Go. Outside!

Tonight Kenny and I are going to bike downtown to watch the Captech Classic, which is the first pro road race to hit town in something like seven years. Richmond used to host a stage of the Tour DuPont and I went to see some of it with Kenny back when we first started dating.

I thought it was really cool even though I wasn't bikey back then. Lance Armstrong rode right passed us, but I didn't know who he was. Such a waste! Similarly wasted: the FREE Red Hot Chili Peppers show I attended back in the late 80s but didn't pay attention to because I'd never heard of them. (I know! Stupid! I'm still kicking my 18 year old self about that one.)

Anyway, the weekend is wide open. I'm hoping for some good bike weather and some good, general hanging-out time. Yeah. Only a few more hours to go until I'm free!

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Nemesis: Eggplant.

So I got all excited about this recipe, which a friend recommended. This friend is a good cook and knows her stuff. Me? I just sort of bumble through and hope for the best. I've never cooked with eggplant but the recipe sounded straightforward enough.

However, I got all kinds of advice on thing you have to do to the eggplant first. Things which consist of an Alton Brown-eque 41 step process to make it less moist, less bitter, more firm, whatever. I'm game!

I purchased the ingredients and had to go to two stores before I found acceptable (read: not bruised and battered) eggplants. Right on. I got home and started the 41 step process:

1. Wash eggplant.
2. Slice eggplant into 1/2 inch rounds.
3. Line pans with paper towels.
4. Lay eggplant slices on paper towels.
5. Salt eggplant slices.
6. Turn them over, salt on the other side.
7. Gawp at bitter liquid squoozing out of eggplant.
8. Chop some other stuff.
9. Chop some more stuff.
10. Turn eggplant slices over.
11. Chop some stuff.
12. Eat bowl of cereal.
13. Spray baking sheets.
14. Become alarmed at loud squeak from oven door.
15. Apply WD-40 to squeak.
16. Pre-heat oven to 500 degrees (!!)
17. Decide that 30 minutes of sweat-time should be enough.
18. Rinse salt off eggplant.
19. Dry each slice by hand, with love.
20. Lay slices on baking sheet.
21. Put sheets in oven.
22. Start the rice.
23. Start making the sauce.
24. Chop stuff I forgot to chop previously.
25. Turn eggplant slices over.
26. Stir, stir, stir sauce.
27. Bad cat! Off the table!
28. Turn slices again. Ooh, they're getting nice and brown.
29. Wash out baking dish.
30. Wash out other baking dish. (the first one was too big)
31. Turn slices again.
32. Bake them 10 minutes longer than recipe calls for.
33. Combine slices, sauce and goat cheese in a pleasing way.
34. Bake it for 20ish minutes.
35. Pat self on back for making such a nice dinner.
36. Open wine.
37. Serve lovely dinner that I made to show my love for my husband, much like the father from "Eat Drink Man Woman".
38. Gag over the liquefied eggplant goo in sauce. LIQUIFIED. Not even mush, people. Liquid. It was seeds and peel and goo. God damn.
39. Self-flagellate over what a bad cook I am.
40. Throw things at husband who jokingly suggests I bake a chocolate cake to "redeem myself".
41. Leer at husband who says he regrets saying such a thing, even in jest, because it will COME BACK TO HAUNT HIM.

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I cannot be bothered with your pesky links today. I have important temp work to do or something. Have a good weekend!

0 chatty monkeys