The Hip Hip Hop, You Don't Stop. Friday, May. 02, 2003 @ 4:02 p.m. It is Friday. Yessiree. This is a good big thing. I have no exciting plans for the weekend, except to not be at work. That is my plan: no work. My arm is feeling better so I hope to get back on the horse and ride my bike this weekend. Isn't that exciting? So, I've been running some banner ads on Diaryland, which always means I get some snort-worthy entries in my guest book. Mostly, people just stop in to say hi or to comment on pugs, circus peanuts or my Office Space existence, which is very nice. (Hi, new readers!) However, every now and then I get a true gem. Like this one:
name: ardiniparamitha Dude, what? Okay then. It made me giggle with it's making-no-sense-ness. Good stuff. I also got my first bit of criticism, which made me laugh out loud:
name: Toshia Snap! Note how she doesn't offer up her own journal for humor inspection? Damn kids today. *********************************** A Few Memos.
Memo To: Boss Lady Hi, you know that Spirit cowbell you ring whenever one of the permanent employees gets a good review? Could you refrain from ringing it directly behind my head when I'm on the freaking phone? Thanks ever so.
Memo To: Milton Why, why, why, why, why? Why do you clear your throat loudly every. single. time. you walk past me? It's really gross and completely unnerving. Also, could you please stay seated for more than 30 seconds at a time? The back-and-forth action is about to make me snap. Here's a helpful hint: if you printed out all your documents at one time, you wouldn't have to make 7,984 trips to the printer. Also, your obsessive need to check for fax confirmations? Kinda creepy.
Memo To: Smarmy HA-ha! I heard you quit and I couldn't be happier. Now I don't ever have to see your smug-bastard little face ever again. I wouldn't care so much if I hadn't heard that you'd bad-mouthed my left-hand cube neighbor, who's actually a really nice guy. Ha and also, ha. In conclusion, HA. *********************************** Links Full of Ire. I am full of ire today, so I decided to take The Spark's Bitch Test to find out what I already suspected- I'm only 35% Bitch. That's lower than the worldwide average of 38%! I'm a nice girl, y'all. Shut up, I am. 'Topless pics' anger Zeta Jones. Memo to Mrs. Zeta Jones: What are you, stupid? If you're smoking while pregnant and also topless on a beach, don't you think someone's going to take a picture of you? It's not like it's the first time it's happened, you know? Here's a hint: how about keeping your top on and not smoking while you�re pregnant? (Ick? Who does that?) Then you won't have to worry about it. Just a suggestion. Survivor last night sucked, man. Grah! Die, Rob, die!! I hate those nasty little bitches too and was really rooting for Christy to win. Hopefully Butch or Matt can pull off a spot in the final two, but it's not looking good. Aw, man, this is the coolest. In 1955 a grocery store was closed because of a death in the family and never re-opened until recently. Now the contents are being auctioned off. Check out the crazy photos! (link courtesy of Popculturejunkmail.com) Have great weekends, my little monkeys!
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