Banner seen hanging over a doorway at the loan center:

At the end of the day ask yourself: "Did I do or even try to do the very best job I could?"

Answer: uh, no? I mean, hell, is that supposed to make me feel guilty or something? If so, it's not working. I'm so over this place. I don't dread coming in every day (yet) but I'm ready to move on. I'm ready for a real job. Hell, I've been ready for a real job for what, 15 months now? I've had no calls back on any of the jobs I've applied to in the last 3 months and I have no idea what I'm doing wrong.

At some point I have to stop blaming the economy and start wondering if it's me. I've got mad research skillz! Plus, I'm college educated and I'm willing to work well below what I'm worth. What's the problem? Did I misspell it reasearch on my resume? Do I smell bad? How would they even know I smelled bad when they won't even give me a freaking interview?

Oh, and Milton MUST BE STOPPED. He is truly on my last nerve today. He's all flipping out and mumbling and slamming drawers and then sort of flipped out in my direction, implying I'd misplaced a document that he'd never even given me. When I pointed this out he sort of fluttered away and didn't say anything. He's completely unable to handle any sort of direct confrontation. And, he taped two different Post-It note messages to my computer screen while I was at lunch. Note to Milton: THEY'RE ALREADY STICKY.

I'm sorry, I can't even imagine how boring my work rants have gotten, especially since I essentially complain about the exact same thing over and over again.

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Let Them Eat Toast.

A few weeks ago Kenny and I went toaster shopping. I was going to write about this before but then decided that nobody gave a shit about Our Toaster Issue and How It Relates To What Is Wrong In America. however, I suddenly realized that's after 4pm and I've got nothing. Read on and act like you care.

Our previous toaster was a completely adorable and totally useless Fiestaware toaster that we got as a wedding shower gift. It made simply terrible toast, and then after only two years of shoddy service, it died.

So off to Target we go, to find a toaster. Holy crap. They had toasters, man. They had a $7.99 model, a $9.99 model, an $11.99 model, a $14.99 model , a $19.99 model (with official Pop-Tart setting!), a $29.99 model, and a $39.99 model. Holy fuck. What the hell? Sure, it's totally great to have choices, but 7 different price points worth of choice? For a toaster? Even to a born-and-raised, television-watching, American mass-consumer like me, this was staggering.

And we debated. the ever-thrifty Kenny wanted to go with the cheapest model, but I was afraid it would catch on fire, or worse, make bad toast. We'd suffered through two years of bad toast in order to have a cute toaster. I didn't mind a boring looking toaster, but I wanted a smidge of quality.

But how do you know? How can the $9.99 model, $11.99 model, and $14.99 model be that much different? What if they're all the same exact toaster? Do we need a quick-release crumb tray? Were we a sucker if we went with the $14.99 instead of the $11.99? Gah!

We ended up going with the $14.99 and hoping for the best. It's a good toaster and makes good toaster in a totally unassuming, bland way. Just like a toaster should. It's not all fancy and British or cute and useless, it's just a toaster. I'm sure the other 12 models available would've pretty much delivered decent toast as well.

So here's the part where I'm supposed to make some big point about how completely ridiculous it is that we have SO MANY choices in everything and how it could be a nice thing but usually ends up being weird and overwhelming and how it's a very American thing to have 8 million choices in everything from salad dressing to television blah blah blah. But you know what? It's not a new or original thought and it's also getting late and I'm tired. Conclude for yourself on the depth of toast and problematic America. Yay.

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Non-Newsy Links.

Awww, yeah. Toaster.org. Why not?

If you haven't read the lists at McSweeney's, now is the time.

********** Random Newsy Links:

Haw! Christian music band, Evanescence, cursed during an interview and now their album is being recalled from all Christian music stores and radio stations. My favorite quote: "Those who are not 100% committed will not be offered to Christian retail." Second favorite quote: "Moody and Lee consider discussions of their faith in early interviews to be "youthful indiscretions."" (link courtesy of Obscurestore.com)

This is the weirdest thing I've ever heard. Gangsta Rap Image = murderous, freak-ass cannibal?

0 chatty monkeys