Oh shit, this is area seven!
Thursday, Mar. 29, 2007 @ 2:23 p.m.
Hi! Did you miss me? Sorry about my slackness - I took a little Diaryland vacation and decided to work on something a bit more springtime fresh: Amblus Loves Bikes. Probably very boring reading for some of you, but I thought it would be a fun project. Eventually I'm going to run out of stuff to say, but that never stopped me before. Really, that's all I've been doing, riding my bike and whipping the house up in a frenzy of beautification in preparation for house guests, an unheard of occurrence around our parts. We're a little terrified, as we have no idea how to have house guests. I almost feel sorry for them.
In the meantime, I'm currently trying to remain calm because I have to get some nasty things done to my lady parts today, some sort of procedure that involves an electric microscope and possibly a biopsy. This doesn't do much for me, I have to be honest. When I was called a few weeks ago to make the appointment I asked the receptionist if I should plan to go home afterwards or what and her response was, and I quote: "Oh, well that depends on your pain threshold."
I don't know about you, but that is NEVER the answer I want to hear. I mean, first of all, what if you don't KNOW your fucking pain threshold? Second of all, why should that term ever even come up unless you're stranded on an island with no drugs and a bad case of gangrene? If you want to fuck with someone, why not just cackle evilly and really make it count? What a bitch. After I hung up the phone I immediately got online to do some research, because that's what I do. This was a bad idea.
You guys know that weird involuntary panic reaction I have when I injure myself, right? The fainting, the nausea, the cold sweats and loss of vision? That whole thing? Apparently it can also happen just by my getting stressed out, aka a panic attack. And that's what I had right there at my desk - a full-blown panic attack. FUN. I managed not to puke, but just barely. The weird thing is, I thought I was being calm and rational in reading up on the procedure but apparently my central nervous system disagreed.
Ever since then I've coped with the whole thing by ignoring it completely and pretending it's not happening. I'm an adult after all, and can avoid reality with the best of them.
So that's it. Go check out my bike blog today and I promise I'll have an update for you tomorrow on how this appointment, the existence of which I'm not even admitting, went down. We'll see.