Holiday? Who in the what day? Last week might have been the fastest week of all time because I barely remember any of it. I wasn't even drunk for most of it, honest. Christmas was very nice and uncomfortable-incident free. I got lots of nice gifts I probably don't deserve, but too damn bad. Gift highlights include:

From my husband, a super shiny iPod Nano:

It's lovely and silver and now i have playlists of all my embarrassing music and Podcasts! Love those too. Leave me a note and tell me what your favorite is so I can make fun of you. And then download it. Because my Nano needed instant accessories, I had to buy this for it on etsy.com:

Cute, yes? You can get your own iPod cozy here: Stitchella

Kenny also bought me a seriously blingy thumb drive that is silver plated and had a giant fake diamond set in it. I ask you, could that be more fabulous? I think it's ridiculous and great. My thumb drive is prettier than you.

From my sister, a personalized autographed copy of:

If you haven't read The Glass Castle yet, please do so immediately. It's insanely good. And! My copy has my name written in it! This is so awesome, I can't even describe to you how cool I think it is.

Kate, who is my BFF, got me this excellent set of girly joy:

I know, right? I already have deep love for Dandelion and now I'm trying to master the art of BeneTint. The mascara is good but the super-gigantic wand it comes with scares me a little bit. It's seriously huge and my eyeballs are a little terrified of it.

Kate also gave me this:

Which was consumed on New Year's eve. It's a tiny pink can of Sofia Coppola champagne. A Tiny. Pink. Can. With. A. Straw. I would drink it every day if I could. I actually have no idea how it tastes, however, because I got a cold right in time for New Year's eve. I knew something was up as early as Thursday afternoon, because we drove out to Ashland to ride bikes and I didn't want to get out of the car. It was cold outside and I really, really, really just wanted to curl up on the front seat and take a nap. Instead I rode and felt like crap, though I couldn't figure out why. That night I had an ominous scratchy throat and the next morning i went up to the volcano and threw in a sacrifice of many dollars in exchange for the magical ZICAM.

I know, I know, it's probably bullshit but I swear it WORKED. I definitely still caught a cold and felt like crap for a couple of days, but I was practically well by Monday. None of this stopped me from crying tears of self-sorrow on Sunday (I always get weepy when I'm sick), but Kenny solved things by whisking me off to happiness, aka a trip to Target followed by a stop at the ice cream store. YAY.

New Year's eve was spent with Kate and Justin and we had a good time, despite all of us being incapable of staying awake past 11:30. Pathetic and old, the lot of us. Kenny and I drove home before midnight which was probably wise because the gunfire started at 11:50pm and didn't let up until 12:30am. What the fuck, people? How do so many of my neighbors own semi-automatic weapons (and handguns and rifles)? What the hell do they need them for? (Other than shooting up the neighborhood on New Year's eve, naturally.) I mean, DAMN IT, don't those fools realize that bullets have to come down somewhere? Like, a person's roof or car or head? It's so insanely pointless and stupid, not to mention just a tiny bit terrifying.

Monday was a bad day full of rain and gloom and Harvey family sadness and back-to-work dread. We coped by eating every last leftover holiday treat in the house and drinking an entire bottle of wine to wash it down. You gotta clean that stuff out of the house before the new year starts, it's the rule.

On Tuesday, after an impossibly unproductive first day back at work, I went back to the gym (after skipping...many days due to sickness and sloth) and took a spinning class! I was cured! It sucked hardcore, but I realized when I wanted to hop off my bike and punch the instructor in the nose that I was definitely feeling better. Bitchiness = Wellbeing.

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