I know this is all up and down the internet by now, but after Dooce posted about bershon (linking to the original entry here), I had to go check out the Flickr group because every damn picture of me taken between the ages of 13 and 20 pretty much personify all that is SO BERSHON.

Sarah Brown defines bershon thusly (the 90210 reference makes it even better!):

Bershon is a word that I�m pretty sure is not really a word at all, but my friend Erin and I, growing up in two different cities, both encountered it separately in our youth. Both of us heard it used in exactly the same manner, namely the cool girls in middle school rolling their eyes and saying, �� and Kayla said yes, and I was like, ohmyGOD, whatever, I�m SO BERSHON.� The spirit of bershon is pretty much how you feel when you�re 13 and your parents make you wear a Christmas sweatshirt and then pose for a family picture, and you could not possibly summon one more ounce of disgust, but you�re also way too cool to really even DEAL with it, so you just make this face like you smelled something bad and sort of roll your eyes and seethe in a put-out manner. Kelly Taylor from Beverly Hills, 90210 is the patron saint of bershon, as her face, like most other teenagers�, was permanently frozen in this expression. Everyone has a bershon pic; it�s probably your eighth grade school picture.

Here is my very, very best example of bershon:

More bershon can be seen here: I'm So Bershon

In exploring the world of bershon, I discovered a couple of great blogs - Que Sera Sera and Byrneunit. They are the bringers of bershon, if you will. Also, I really cannot stress enough how much you should go look at Erin Lady Byrne's Flickr photos. I don't want to be too gushy but I think I'm a little in love with her dad and pretty much can't get enough of the Raising Arizona-eque family portraits. Trust me on this and go take a look. (Hopefully this doesn't make me some kind of creepy internet stalker, but dang, these are some hilarious pictures. "Don't ferget the tattoo, ED!")

Anyway, that's what's been amusing me this week and honestly, there hasn't been much else. Remember a few entries back when I admitted that I forgot about the concept of PMS every single month until I start wondering why I feel like stabbing strangers with pointy objects just because*? Yeah, that happened again yesterday because I'm a COMPLETE IDIOT. What are we talking here? I've had my period for a little over 20 years (I was 13, if you have to know) so that means I've been confused by the looming menstrual rage about 240 times. You'd think I'd get it by now. You'd think.

* Okay, maybe not just because. Maybe it's because you tear paper up sloooowly instead of taking it to the shredder. Maybe it's because you let your gym locker door BANG shut every time you close it. Maybe it's because you moronically told me that my branch coral cluster necklace, "looks just like chili peppers!" It could be anything but it's probably worth getting stabby about, PMS or not.

Other shit I've been meaning to tell you:

I have to tell you guys about the Fuck-You CITGO. I'm admittedly a little bit obsessed with the fluctuation in gas prices, mostly because it's really arbitrary. Some neighborhoods, gas is $2.63 a gallon, others? $2.79. It's so stupid but I love trying to get the best price. If there are two gas stations across the street from one another, I'll go to the one that's a penny less. Mostly it's pretty much the same in our area of town - right now $2.60 is average.

And then, there's the Fuck-You CITGO. Right now regular gas at the F-Y C is going for $2.94. They just don't care. They are consistently .30� higher than anyone around which is how they got the name - you drive past, glance at the sign and say, "fuck you, CITGO!" I do it every time because I cannot believe how much they don't care. They don't even have pay-at-the-pump gas pumps. Your ass (should you be dumb enough to gas up there) has to walk inside like a chump. Kenny is convinced that they are actively trying to discourage business. I actually laughed out loud when I drove by last week and saw they had regular marked at $3.19 a gallon. Dude! It's like they're dying to get into a fist fight or something and keep raising it up hoping to get a reaction.

Bad Design Report

OXO Owes me a thumb. If you go to their website, the first thing you see is the statement: Hands come in all shapes and sizes. Well, that's certainly true, especially if deformed counts. I have a stupid OXO vegetable peeler. A vegetable peeler that was apparently sharpened by diamonds because holy freaking HELL that thing is sharp. I am now missing a sizeable chunk of my thumb because I was foolish enough to try to wash that thing by hand. My mistake! I should have levered it into the dishwasher while wearing Teflon gloves, I guess.

This isn't the first time I've sustained a peeler-related injury but the last time I actually managed to press my thumb into the corner of the blade, which I don't recommend. I should send it to Michael Graves because his knives (of which I have a very attractive set) couldn't be more poorly designed. Sincerely, they're the stupidest knives ever because you can't tell which side is the sharp side and they're so dull it doesn't even matter anymore. Feh.

Really, there's no point to this story, I just wanted to complain.

5 chatty monkeys