Here's an update on what's happened since the last time I wrote: Everything broke.

1. The washing machine. We purchased it for a pittance from our house's original owner and it gave us a year and a half's worth of okay service. Last weekend it decided it had spun it's last load and just couldn't anymore. Kenny decided to buy a new washer and also decided he's going to install it himself which is something I would never do. Like, ever. But, he made me very proud and did a nice job of it and now we have a very shiny new washer and a really old and disgruntled dryer.

2. The coffee maker. It started as a small puddle but by last Saturday morning all the water from the reservoir just came splooshing out of the bottom. Hello, fire hazard. I went to Target to get a new one and again marveled at the insane amount of choices. Here in America, small appliances are disposable! How else can one explain why one coffee maker is $7.00 and another is $130? I went with a very understated $20 model.

3. My car. Sort of. It depends on the weather. See, if there has been any moisture in the air at all my delicate bucket requires a light spritzing of DW-40 on it's nether regions or there will be stalling, no exceptions. She also requires warming up, no exceptions. So last Monday morning (I know, I'm totally a week behind) it was pouring down rain and I did the song and dance with the WD-40 and started her up in preparation for my drive to work. After 15 minutes I figured all would be good and I got in the car, put it in reverse and completely stalled out. Lovely.

After another 15 minutes of trying to start the car I decided that there was just too much moisture going on underneath, so I put the hood up again, doused with WD-40 again and stood with the hood open for better condensation-drying-outing and also, goddammit, held my umbrella over the engine so it wouldn't get it's delicate bit all wet. For the love of GOD, people. It was ridiculous. Apparently this complex ritual was appropriately pleasing enough to the car because she ran like a dream for the rest of the day. I ask you.

4. The big TV. Dude. I am still filled with furious anger over this one. Our four-month-old Magnavox TV has been making this horrible, painful high pitch noise on and off for a couple of months. At first I thought it was the cable because jiggling the connection makes the noise stop briefly, but no, it's the new TV and the noise is getting worse and more frequent.

I called Circuit City where we bought it. Apparently our warranty for service was only three months so we'd have to pay $100 for in-house service or $39 to bring it in for service (it's big). This sucks not just because of the money, but because I guarantee you the TV will NOT make the noise when it's in for service and we'll get charged for nothing.

I called Magnavox and they wouldn't talk to me unless I have the serial number of the TV, as apparently the model number isn't good enough, and I have to be in front of the TV during the call. Also, when you call Magnavox and give the computerized system the model number, it says something like "that model may be out of the manufacturer's warranty and you may have to pay a $15 charge to speak to a technician." I almost lost my mind when I heard that.

Anyway, I call back with the serial number and get a "technician" on the line (I didn't have to pay no freaking $15) and he sounded like he was about 12 years old. I explained the problem and here's what he told me to do: reset the TV. Sounds promising, no? Do you know what resetting means? It means TURN IT OFF AND THEN TURN IT BACK ON AGAIN. Seriously, he was all "Turn it off and unplug it, wait 30 seconds, then plug it back in and press the power button at the same time. Hopefully that will solve the problem."

.

Have you ever. In your life. Heard such a load of crap. And no, it didn't work.

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So that's all that's been happening lately, I guess. Tomorrow I have to participate in some non-mandatory-but-really-it's-mandatory community service thing. We have to go build a house or help "revitalize" a school. (Which, really, sounds bad to me. I fear the idea of picking up trash or decorating the halls of a high school, because 1. I fear high school 2. I fear high school students and 3. What student gives a shit about that kind of thing?) It should be interesting. I'll be back in the afternoon and maybe I'll have time to write about it.

PS. Ooh, Keen now has a fabulous new website: keen-designs.net

54 chatty monkeys