Sorry about the lack of updating. I've been sick but I'm finally, finally, finally well. I had the stupidest, longest cold ever and I am SO BAD at being sick. I only get sick about once a year, so I really extra-specially resent it. Hey, I spend 11 months out of the year feeling all smug about my good health and then I get a lowly cold. I am sad that my power is not strong enough to fight off the lowly cold virus. (Ha, this reminds me of one of my crazy ex-bosses - she was CA-RAZY and actually told a co-worker that she was completely shocked when she got pregnant with her daughter because she thought she was too powerful to conceive. Yes, that is correct; she thought she could use her amazing mind power to prevent pregnancy. Weirdo.)

Because of my gross sickness I couldn't go to the gym for nearly two weeks which makes me mental. I could actually feel myself getting flabby so I tamped down that feeling with cookies. Where's the logic there? FEED A COLD, SISTER. Feed it even if everything tastes bland and metallic! I'm finally back in the saddle and have returned to working out like a fiend.

Last night I did two spinning classes back-to-back with the awesome new spinning instructor...who then announced he was getting knee surgery and would be out for a while. Dear Fitness Gods, why have you forsaken me? Why do you keep taking away the best spinning instructors? You sent one to Atlanta, one quit to work at a YMCA and now knee surgery? And this guy plays great music too! I'm talking Public Enemy, Fat Boy Slim, Southern Culture on the Skids! Who does that? It's amazing and now I'm sad.

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What's a Liger?

It's pretty much my favorite animal. It's like a lion and a tiger mixed... bred for its skills in magic.

So, we spent a lot of this past weekend watching movies and my new ultimate most favorite ever movie is Napoleon Dynamite. Holy crap, I'm in love. It is, by far, the funniest movie I've seen in ages. We watched it twice and now I think I need to own it because it just gets better with repeated viewings. Aside from the absolute uncanny knack this movie has for dragging you right back to the utter dispair and pointlessness of high school, it really nails the kind of kid who nobody could classify, the kid that even the true geeks are wary of for fear he'll drag them down even further.

He's fascinating mainly because he makes no effort to hide his freak. He's an unknown element. A little scary, a lot weird. Completely hopeless, but not making any effort to fit in because that just isn't possible for him. If you're a girl you hope to god he doesn't get a crush on you because dude, you'll never, ever, shake that. Take it from me, I know. See, and years later you realize that he was probably 100% more interesting than all the popular kids combined. Or, he's been arrested for mailing fake bombs.

All that inner-angst aside, it's truly fucking hilarious. Rent it.

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My weekend was pretty laid-back because we got some really nice freezing rain and snow on Saturday and my little bucket just can't handle it. Plus, I don't think people around here understand that when the roads aren't cleared or salted, an inch of snow (which melts a little and then instantly re-freezes into a layer of ice) can be really treacherous.

Last Wednesday we got a few inches of snow and while driving home I was waiting to take a right and decided to wait for traffic to clear rather than turn into the ice-covered merge lane. The bitch in the SUV behind me HONKED AT ME. Oh, I was furious. Hi, I drive a TIN CAN, LADY. In order to calm myself I decided that she was actually angry because she'd spent her plastic surgery money on Junior's ivy league education, only to have him drop out after two semesters so he could be a white rasta and grow pot in the back yard. Anyway, she was stuck behind me for most of the drive home so I took my time. Ha.

I love how I keep talking about last weekend like it's not already Wednesday. I've been writing little bits of this all week, but hadn't really pulled it together. Can I talk for a minute about my reading lately? I've been having trouble finishing books. I'm halfway through four different books and I know for sure that one of them is not going to get finished because it SUCKS SO COMPLETELY. It shouldn't but it does.

I'ts called "A Walk Across America" and it's written by the most insufferable faux-hippie who relys on exclaimation points and really bad metaphors to get his cliche'd point across. The story itself is interesting - a 1970's drop-out decides to take his dog and walk from Connecticutt to the Gulf Coast.However, he ruins it by being the most annoying kid imaginable, though some of that can be blamed on the time period. Hey...black people are nice! Hillbillies are nice! Who knew? Rednecks? Sometimes assholes, sometimes nice!

But! The capper is his dog Cooper who he calls his "Forever Friend." Are you gagging yet? It only gets worse when you realize that Cooper is the more interesting character in the book and then he DIES because the hippie asshole doesn't see any issue with letting his dog run under a truck when he visits the culty farm commune. Idiot. IDIOT. See, I just saved you from ever reading this. You're welcome.

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Okay, really this entry has no sense to it, but I can't seem to keep a consistent train of thought going. It is what it is. It's a Liger.

12 chatty monkeys