Blame it on the Lame
Sunday, May. 23, 2004 @ 6:55 p.m.

Hi, it's Sunday and this is going to be another lame entry because I'm weary. Please see my excuse* below. I haven't been able to write from work because I've been training my replacement temp (!) and she's positioned herself exactly 6 inches behind me at all times. SHE READS MY EMAIL OVER MY SHOULDER. It's extremely annoying. When she came to interview for the job, she asked me "What do you like most about your job?" I had to think really hard to come up with an answer. Then she asked "What do you like least about your job?" and I had to restrain myself. A lot. Poor thing. She'll learn soon enough.

Five more days! My last day is Friday and then I'm free! Free from the evil regime! My coworker's reactions ranged from jealously to annoyance to bitter happiness for me. Poor souls. I must leave them behind for my sweet, sweet new job with it's ample vacation time, excellent benefits, and lack of switchboard telephone. Free!

I'm sure one or two of you are wondering how the evil bitch boss reacted to my leaving? In true unpredictable form, she was totally and creepily calm about it. Eeee. Part of me was really hoping she's lose her mind and be all "OUT! OUT NOW!" so I could moonwalk my way out of there and leave a bunch of work undone. Not so, but that's okay.

Excuse for lameness of entry:

I did a bike race today and it was SO FREAKING HARD. 15 miles in the lovely humidness of spring. I think it was 90+ degrees out which didn't help. Also not helping: I ate something last night that I shouldn't have and my stomach woke me up at 3AM requesting said food be thrown overboard. I had no choice but to do as requested. Fun. Anyway, the race went pretty well (read: I didn't die, I didn't bleed, I didn't cause anyone else to die or bleed, I can still walk. All good.) and I didn't come in last!

Not! Last!

I think I came in 6th place out of a field of 10 or 12 people, but I'm not sure yet and the results haven't been posted. I'm extremely tired. Extremely. Tonight there will be pizza and beer and candy and it will be good. When I went to buy the candy and beer at CVS, I was rung up by Assistant Manager Brian aka Dweeby Fuckwad Git (seriously, if you look in the Stock Character Dictionary under Dweeby Drugstore Assistant Manager, this guys picture is what you'll find) who lispily carded me and, because I had to run out to the car to get my ID, scrutinized my license, squinted at me, scrutinized some more, squinted some more, tilted the Goddamn thing to check for the hologram and then deemed it passable. Then he gave me shit for not having my CVS savings card thingy and didn't believe me when I said I had one, but not ON ME and no, I do not want an application because I HAVE ONE, JUST NOT ON ME. Sheesh.

Good night my monkeys! Go eat some candy.

1 chatty monkeys

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