Just a short entry today to let you know that the EVIL CLOWN DOLL MAILED ITSELF TO ME. Jesus Christ, I screamed like a little girl when I opened the box. My friend swears up and down that she donated it to the Goodwill, but clearly she disregarded my instructions re. CUTTING OFF THE HEAD. The clown was so pissed off that it climbed on into a box and mailed itself across the country to me, The Original Clown Hata.

Fearing for my life, I locked it in the trunk of my car. What would you have done? The clown came with a cut-and-paste style note that said something like "You'd be unwise to discard me." I'm really left with no choice but to dismember it myself and mail off the bits and pieces to unsuspecting friends who LAUGH AT MY PREDICAMENT.

I SAY LAUGH WHILE YOU CAN, MONKEY BOY. EVIL CLOWN BITS ARE COMING YOUR WAY AND WILL EVENTUALLY BE DRAWN TO ONE ANOTHER, RE-FORMING INTO A STRONGER AND MORE EVIL VERSION WHICH WILL GO HUNTING FOR IT'S MOMMY WITH A JAGGED PIECE OF METAL CLENCHED BETWIXT IT'S ZIPPER TEETH.

Mark my words, Carolyn.

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In a fun bit of workplace news, we were all taken to lunch yesterday as a "reward" for our "hard work". Where were we taken? Why, to a hot dog shack, where else? And when I say "shack" I'm not even exaggerating. It's one of those roadside stand-type places with picnic benches and a dusty parking lot. Yay. Also? I don't eat meat, which my boss knows, but chooses to ignore, because hot dogs are the cheapest lunch she can get away with.

To appease me, my co-worker bought me a tuna salad sandwich from the deli on the way, but it was basically inedible due to the large amount of surplus mayonnaise they slapped on. Really, what is that all about? Is this a southern thing? (I'm getting a strong deja vu feeling, like I've bitched about this before.) My point is: tuna salad is already FULL OF MAYONNAISE. It was disgusting and I was cracking up all the fools who thought I was eating healthy. Blegh.

Okay I work now.

Ha.

There is another thing I want to talk about, but I don't want to jinx myself so you'll just have to wait.

The end.

6 chatty monkeys