Pending.
Wednesday, Apr. 14, 2004 @ 4:51 p.m.

Okay, okay, GOD I KNOW. Where the hell have I been? Here's the thing: whatever. I don't know, sometimes my job and stuff leaves me somewhat emotionally drained and I don't have anything left to write about that isn't this:

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH.

See? Not fun to read. The last time I had a mini meltdown on the journal I lost readers and I need you guys. Here's a recap of last week:

Monday: tears
Tuesday: tears
Wednesday: no tears + mountain bike ride (yay!)
Thursday: also no tears + Survivor ("Ah put an A own mah ahm for AMBUH!")
Friday: office retreat.

Yes, lord, OFFICE RETREAT.

It's perhaps a story for another day, but it was pretty awful and my boss was mean and it was made startlingly clear that I was indeed DEMOTED to receptionist/office bitch and I will no longer be given research or thinky projects because my boss feels that it's hard for me to concentrate on complex projects and also answer the phones. Now, there is some truth to this, it is hard to concentrate when you're interrupted every 2.4 seconds, BUT, how about letting some other rube answer the phones so I can do what I was hired to do? Whatever. It's easier this way because when I leave, this is my ticket to WHYVILLE.

Anyway, the retreat left me feeling vaguely depressed all weekend, but not so much that I didn't enjoy the not-being-at-workness of it.

Recap of this week, thus far:

FREAKING RAIN.

No tears, though. I think the lack of tears can be directly correlated with my boss's absence from the office this week. Haw. You think? We also have a fresh gaggle of new temps this week, as well. One of them is a dirty hippie who smells like incense and drinks green sludge from a jar. I forgave her the headache her hippie-perfume gave me every morning when I found out she was a vegetarian. I'm down with that.

However, I took back any goodwill I might have afforded her when I heard her ask another temp if she'd attended church on Easter Sunday and when the answer was "no", tsk-tsked her. Dude. I would have flipped OUT. And maybe told her I was a devil worshipper who crucified a baby bunny to celebrate the day.

So, just to catch up, here's a short list of other small things that have been stuck in my craw, so to speak:

- My co-worker's constant use of "Flustrated".

- Vanity plate I saw on a Hummer: GLBLWMR. What an asshole, right?

-Those Fox Network Bastards have cancelled Wonderfalls already. It was even scheduled to run last Thursday but they pulled it anyway, just to be dicks. I hate them so much.

-There was a CENTIPEDE IN THE OFFICE last week. You guys know how I feel about those little fuckers. I really, really need to get out of this place. I swear I can feel them crawling on me all the time. All the time. All the time.

Here's something terrifying: A friend of mine posted a picture of a horrifying CLOWN DOLL that her crazy mother-in-law brought it over for her daughter. Why would anyone do that? When asked if the mouth is a zipper, she said "Yes, the mouth is a big red zipper and when you unzip it, a huge red tongue comes out - AAAHHHH!!!"

My response:

All the better to eat small children with! What the freaking crazy crap hell? CLOWNS = EVIL. Throw that thing away, in public dumpsters away from the house. Don't forget to sever the head and put it in a SEPARATE dumpster so it doesn't grow back together and then slowly drag itself back to your house with a bent piece of sharp, rusty wire clenched in it's evil zipper teeth. I'M FOR SERIOUS.

(Maybe I read too much Stephen King, but really, you can't be too careful with stuff like that.)

PS. Marital shout out: Happy Birthday Kenny!

6 chatty monkeys

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