I Think Too Much.
Tuesday, Mar. 09, 2004 @ 4:41 p.m.

Topic I spend too much time thinking about:

- What color Mini Cooper would I pick if someone offered me one for free? (I'm partial to the cream & black combo, but the red with the white racing stripe is really fly in a mod sort of way. Silver? Silver is good too. Silver is sleek and cool and not too flashy. Hmm. Not black or blue or yellow. No.)

- Who keeps googling Amblus? I'm the only one so they must be looking for me. Why are they looking for me? The same person also searched on "chatty monkeys". Helloooo, is it me you're looking for?

- If I was stuck in an elevator with David Bowie, what would I talk to him about without making a fool of myself? What if I had to pee really badly at the same time?

- Do people with mullets really think they look good? What compels a person to do that? Who really only wants the party in the back?

- Why does my annoying co-worker NOT understand the black/brown rule when dressing?

- I talk about candy and you chatty monkeys come out of the woodwork. I ponder Chicken Box's "The second best thing you've ever eaten"? Nary a peep. What is it with you people?

(Kenny, don't read this next one.)
- Creative conversions of the amount of money we owe the IRS into tangible items I would like to own. Pick your favorite:
Owed: One Marc Jacobs Stella bag
Owed: Half of a Santa Cruz mountain bike
Owed: a really stellar spring wardrobe
Owed: a smallish robot.
Owed: five and a half pairs of Citizens of Humanity Kate jeans
Owed: nine weeks worth of groceries

**********

And now, a little bit of over-think about the office janitor.

What is behind my irrational irritation with office janitor? He's perfectly nice, but I can't stand him. Maybe it's his massive overuse of cologne? Maybe it's his habit of calling everyone by their first name but adding Miss or Mr. before it, as if he's some kind of jolly indentured servant? Maybe it's because he vacuums around me when I'm on the phone? Maybe because it makes me uncomfortable to have anyone clean up after me?

I always swore I'd hire a maid service if I could ever afford to, but I really don't think I could. Hell, it makes me uncomfortable to have the clerks at the grocery store wheel out my stuff and I used work their doing exactly that. ! I think I just have an inordinate fear of small talk and when the janitor empties the trash at my desk I cringe while I exchange pleasantries and wonder if he secretly hates me for my apple cores and sandwich crusts.

I don't really dislike the janitor, but I do wish he wouldn't call me Miss like this is some kind of Cube Plantation and he's the happy servant. God, that's just awful. Maybe he really is just a happy old man and prefers a little formality. It just makes me sad and uncomfortable to have him add that "Miss" to my name like he's not allowed to just call me by my first name. Anyway, that's my over-think for the day. Whee.

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