So last night I was driving home and one of my favorite songs came on the radio ("Kodachrome" by Paul Simon) and the sun was setting and for a few moments everything was good and right and I felt lucky to be part of the world. Also, I'd just bought one of those "limited edition" Hershey�s Cookie & Mint bars, which I adore. (Limited edition? My ass. I cried when they discontinued them. If by cry I mean I was completely annoyed and then forgot all about them.)

Anyway, everything seemed good and right with the world until I got on the highway and was almost creamed by a moron in a Jetta doing 90 in the right lane. The moron then crossed over three lanes of traffic while blowing his horn. Nice. My immediate reaction was to scream and give him the insta-finger which pretty much blew away any feelings of goodwill I might have been harboring. Damn other people. Ruining everything.

But today is Friday and other then my normal job/co-worker disgust, things are okay. Today my co-worker disgust deals with the Annoying New Temp (she of the ass-kissing and OVER EMPHASIS) who actually is not new or a temp anymore. She is still annoying however and today she's pissed me off by bringing her little dog to work and leaving it in the car all day. It's supposed to be 80 degrees today! She claims her dog "likes" to be in the car but I'll bet if that dachshund could talk it would tell a different story:

Dachshund, on being left in the car for eight hours: Man, at home I got options. Sleep, eat, bark at shit, chew on furniture, pee, bark some more, you know, good stuff. In the car? I ain't got dick. Sure, I can look out the window all day, but man, there ain't a lot of action in the parking lot, if you know what I'm saying. Plus, it's hot in here, and I don't mean like in that song. I hate when that bitch just up and leaves me here all day like it's some kind of vacation. Sheeit. Dog's gotta be free, man.

Why is it not 5pm yet? I've been hounded all day by the state-I-don't-Live-In 800 number and chat. Idiots with their bad grammar and ALL CAPS who want to start a business. It's a party, I tell you, to hand-hold people through a process I don't even understand myself. Yay!

But, in less than an hour I'll be free for two days of fun and frolic and painting our living room with the snootily named Historic Windham Cream. Haw. There might be some mountain biking this weekend too. There will definitely be fun. FUN WILL BE HAD.

Have a good weekend, monkeys!

4 chatty monkeys