So I have little bits of things to talk about, but nothing cohesive, and this after not writing for five days. Oh, shut it. I know I suck.

Rum cream pie.

Rum. Cream. Pie.

I saw this advertised in the window of a bakery this week. Have you ever, in your life, heard of anything so nasty? I'm not a big fan of rum to begin with (especially as people like to pair it with things that are even grosser- like raisins) so the idea of rum cream pie is just enough to make me want to hork. I mean, rum-flavored cream? Jesus. Why would you waste a pie like that?

However, it does remind me of a funny guy I used to work with years ago, who would sneak up behind me and say "BOSTHON. CREEEM. PIIIIIE." in a creepy lispy voice. It was hilarious and horrifying every single time. I run into him every once in a while, usually at the grocery store and sometimes, if he sees me before I see him, he'll Boston Cream Pie me. I'll have to tell him about the rum cream pie, for sure.

In other food news, Janet and Wayne are at it again and it's a good one. Janet is clearly off her no-carb diet, as she "ordered" the Catfish with Hush Puppies. Will someone please get Janet a copy of the memo about proper quotation mark usage? Also, PS. Janet, you don't have to capitalize the food words, fool.

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So I haven't written a damn thing all week because nothing really remarkable or cringeworthy has happened that I feel like writing about. We're still giddy about the new house and my job is still...there. I'm still reading books that are clearly not on my book challenge list and I still feel kinda assy about that.

Currently I'm re-reading the entire Little House on the Prairie series because I loved the books as a kid and I wanted to see if they stood the test of time. And they do, pretty much. A friend of mine who's also read them as an adult pointed out that she hadn't realized what a dick Pa could be and she's right. He's definitely a little assier than I remember and poor Ma is more long-suffering than I remember. Interesting that I took for granted as a kid that adults had it hard. That was their job, right? They did the hard stuff and they liked it because they were adults. (Sometimes I can't believe I'm grown up.)

I'm also a little saddened by the attitude of the settlers v. the Indians, but the books were written in the 1930's, when it was apparently still okay to dick the Indians around and act like they deserved what they got. Other than that small detail, the books are amazing to read- full of beautiful descriptions and interesting characters. Certainly better than the television show, though I loved that too. Who didn't love to hate Nellie Olsen?

I got to thinking last night about the real Nellie and I wondered what kind of person she grew up to be. I wonder if her great-grandchildren watched Little House on the Prairie and got really mad, because Great-Gran was getting a bad rap? Or, maybe she really was a total bitch and her great-grandchildren snickered with glee every time her televised self was shown to be a boingy-curled nightmare? Also, do they get royalties from the show? I doubt it. They should be pissed about that, no lie.

I think too much about the wrong things, don't I.

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My sister and I drove up to Ikea today, where we longingly gazed upon all kinds of insanely cute things we can't have. Hello, adorable red sofa? Please be mine. Poang (please to be pronouncing PO-aaaang) chair? You as well. I ended up buying random things like wrapping paper and nesting food containers. I also bought an adorable round bath mat with different colored circles on it. Very, very cute. I got home and immediately put it on the bathroom floor and stood back, admiring it's super-cuteness.

Apparently my cat Dido also thought it was super cute because when I walked in the bathroom an hour later there was a huge PUDDLE OF HER PEE on it. I could've killed her. I swear to God I'm going to trade that cat in for a Pug. (Robyn, I feel your pain. Perhaps Tubby and Dido are a match made in heaven? Blarg.)

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Drat. It's bedtime. I'll write more disjointed crap tomorrow or something. Good night, monkeys!

3 chatty monkeys