Watch Out. You Might Get What You're After.
Tuesday, Nov. 04, 2003 @ 4:12 p.m.

Remember the object of horror and disgust I mentioned last week? The thing the former owner of our house left behind? Well, I've been meaning to take a picture of it, but I have no idea which box we packed the camera in. It's probably in the same box as the iron. (My outfits this week have certainly been...creative.)

So, lacking photographic evidence, I'll just tell you about the Many Chambered Decanter from Hell. Yes indeed, she left an ancient glass four-chambered liquor decanter, still full of vileness. Three of the chambers contain oddly colored liquors, which appear to be peppermint schnapps and the like.

Ah, but the fourth chamber? It contains Bailey's Irish cream gone very, very bad. Very bad. Naturally, we all had to smell it. Don't ever do that.

The cats spent moving day locked out on the screened-in porch and they were fa-reaked out. Stella, in an effort to make herself small enough to disappear, completely squeezed herself under the firewood rack. I have no idea how she did it, but all you could see was her eyes under the logs. When I finally pried her out and brought her in the house. she hid, trembling, under the pillows of the couch and refused to leave. Stella is a cross between Randy from "A Christmas Story" and Snowball, the cat from The Simpsons. She's sweet and whiny and a little bit odd. Poor kitty.

The Fuzz simply retreated under the couch and stayed there for the remainder of the day without eating. I couldn't believe it because that cat hasn't missed a meal, ever. Zephyr, as usual, acclimated quickly and spent the day being as annoying as possible, which included monkey-climbing antics up and down the screened walls of the porch.

In general, we've just been in a state of utter delight since we've moved in. Our expectations have always been so low that the simplest things amaze us. Seven closets? Oh my freaking God. We have one that's still empty! So much space! We have a closet just for linen! We have one specifically for coats! The luxury of it all!

The dishwasher, especially, is making us giddy and will probably continue to make us giddy for years to come. You see, you put the dirty dishes in the box, add a soap tablet, close it up and 45 minutes later you have clean shiny dishes. It's amazing! Really, it's freaking genius. Thank you Josephine Garis Cochrane. . Thank you from the bottom of my dirty dish heart.

***********

Apparently I did scarily well on this 80's music test. Noah, this one was custom made for you (in London...)

51 chatty monkeys

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