Making Excuses Sans Clothing.
Thursday, Aug. 21, 2003 @ 11:07 p.m.

Here I am. Did you miss me? I'm sorry I neglected you, baby. You're so special to me and I'll never do it again. Naw, baby, I swear. This is the last time I'll disappear for days on end, leaving you crying your eyes out and wondering "What did I do wrong? Why has she forsaken me? I kept that non-updating bitch on my buddy list and this is the thanks I get?"

Look, baby, It's been a busy week, is all I'm saying. To begin with, there was "Wacky Wednesday" at the loan center. Shut up, I know it's Thursday already, but I needed a day to get over the horror that was Wacky Wednesday.

The portend of things to come was the announcement on Tuesday that "Everyone should wear sneakers tomorrow for Wacky Wednesday!" (Shorts were also allowed.) Sneakers? The employees can wear sneakers to work? How is this different from every other damn day of the week? They ALL wear sneakers to work! Either that or stiletto-heeled Lucite slides, for real. What's wacky about sneakers? Other than just that they're ugly and make your feet look big?

Wacky Wednesday also apparently meant "dress up randomly in half-hearted and pathetic costumes for no reason". Ew. Some of them were wearing sombreros, some of them were dressed like cowboys and some were dressed like complete whores (wait, maybe not a costume?). It made no sense.

And, oh yes, there was the horrifying free lunch. It was a doozy. We all tromped down to the cafe to get the free lunch and there they were- stacks and stacks of closed styrofoam containers. Everyone was picking one up, opening it, then putting it down and reaching for another, much to the annoyance of the cafe worker who was shouting "THEY'RE ALL THE SAME!" repeatedly. Nobody paid any attention to her, unable to accept that this was all there was.

I picked one up and opened it (ha). Holy God. The container held four stringy fried chicken wings (can't eat chicken, check.), a scoop of yellow room-temperature potato salad (food poisoning, check.) and a sad, soggy little cookie (not worth the calories, check.). I tossed it and went out for lunch. Screw that shit.

***********************

In other news, my second interview on Monday did earn me a job offer, with a salary so incredibly low I almost laughed out loud. Am I an intern? An indentured servant? A poorly trained monkey? Hell, I make more than that as a temp! I said no and got the hell out of there. I've not heard back about the second interview from last week, despite my THREE individualized and hand-written thank you notes. Sad.

In house news, both the houses we loved were sold before we could take a gander, but we looked at two more tonight. One was bland and expensive, but the other? We liked it a lot. It's a 1950's rancher and full of good kitschy flavor. It even has a wood-paneled rec room with a wagon-wheel chandelier! Hee. Love it.

If we bought it, we'd have to invest deeply in some paint, as the last owner was obviously either color-blind or completely insane. The main room? Pepto pink. Dining room? A dark emerald green. Bedroom? Blindingly bright blue. Gah. Also, there's the splatter-paint bathroom counter, but we won't go into that. The general space is good and it's got lots of potential. I need to stop now before I start thinking it's mine...

And finally, the best news for last! I'm going with Kate and a friend of hers to The Justified and Stripped concert on Monday! Who's jealous?? I know you are. Dude, so excited! It's going to be us oldsters and a sea of 13-year-olds, but I'm bigger and stronger and have no problem taking down some teens if it means being closer to the JT action. Shut up, you're just jealous. It's totally going to RULE. Whoot! Wait, where are you going? Don't be so quick to walk away, let me rock you til the break of day!

What? Damn.

***********************

PS. Did you see this? Such a klassy gal. Every bride deserves her own mug shot, don't you think?

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