Oh my GOD, what a day yesterday was.

Have I mentioned lately that I hate my job? Boss Lady scurried over to my cube the second I walked in the door, and, while standing way too close* to me, proceeded to tell me kindly that I'd screwed up.

Only, I didn't? See, there's a section in one of the databases where I have to enter three sets of initials for each step of the God-almighty process- the set-up person's initials (me), the processor's initials, and the closer's initials. I was told a month ago (by my boss) to enter my initials in the set-up slot, then the processor/closer person, yadda yadda yadda. Still awake? Okay then.

Turns out, I'm actually supposed to enter the processor's initials in all three slots so they get credit for setting up the loan (even though they DIDN'T). So, Boss Lady informs me that I�ll be given a huge list of loans numbers so I can manually go in and change my initials in each one. Super fantastic! She acted as if I should've known better, even though it's her fault I did it wrong. Also, God FORBID the processor doesn�t get credit for the work I do! God forbid they shouldn't get their precious "points" to spend in the company store. (No, I'm not making this up.) Thanks to me, those fool are raking in the crappy merchandise! Whee!

Then we have Down With Jesus who never, ever, shuts her yap. She talkstalkstalks all damn day and I just want to scream SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP! at her until I get dragged away. Sometimes I just mumble it under my breath. She's turning me into Milton, I swear. How she gets any work done at all is beyond me, since she does nothing but talk. She even talked through a mouthful of fried pork rinds. I hate her.

* What is with the close-talkers? Does my boss not notice that I've backed up as far as I can in my cube to the point of doing a backbend over my desk? I can hear you just as well from over there, lady. No need to be two inches from my face. Sheesh.

The most surreal moment of the day came right before lunch, when a woman who sits across the aisle from me took a phone call and proceed to Fall Out. She slid most of the way out of her chair and started keening, which quickly became a wail, which then turned into full-on hysterics and tears and cries of "NNNOOoOOoO!!"

I was frozen in my seat, unsure of what to do. I've never, in my life, seen such raw and horrible pain. I started crying, because what else can you do when someone's heart has obviously broken right in front of you? She was quickly surrounded by co-workers, and, unable to stand, wasrolled out while still slumped in her office chair. I learned later that she'd been told over the phone that her mother had died suddenly. Jesus. I guess there's really no good way to give such news, but over the phone? Very bad idea. I hope she's doing okay.

*****************

Time to bring the room back up.

I made tacos! On Kate's advice, I bought some Fantastic Foods brand fake meat taco filling stuff and it RULES. It's just like the nasty processed meaty filling you might find in a Mexican restaurant, only it's ground up soy instead of ground up cow. Yum. I love some fake meat product.

No, that's not all I've got. Geez.

How about a list?

Things I intend on purchasing as soon as I have a real job:

- A pair of Seven jeans (as I apparently believe the hype)

- A full body massage.

- Professionally applied hair color that doesn't immediately fuck off.

A couch that's not a saggy futon.

- Perhaps a newer that 1988 car. (This may be a longer-term goal, unless my transmission falls out, in which case it will get bumped up the list, right under full body massage.)

- This bike jersey for the fall.

- I'll also, uh, pay down my credit cards. Natch.

Alright, monkeys, have a good day and don't even think of refinancing!

46 chatty monkeys