A Slice of Hell Portal Life.
Thursday, Jul. 03, 2003 @ 2:56 p.m.

Man, I'm glad I appreciated all the freedom and time off I had when I was unemployed last year. If I'd not enjoyed it, I'd have to go back in time right now and kick my own ass. I would do anything to have that sort of time on my hands. It ruled.

My workday life now? Virtual hell portal. Thank the baby Jesus that a long weekend approaches. I'm not very patriotic, so I'll spend most of it riding my bike and generally slacking off. I also plan to see Charlie's Angels, Part II/Cradle of Life/Unleashed/Reloaded/Full Throttle/Whatever.

Gah. Another list of twelve loans. Screwed. I'm going to try to write an entry anyway, composed of random loan center vignettes. Or something. Yeah.

**************

I just overheard a conversation in the break room that was so stupid, I think I actually got dumber just by listening to it:

Vendor guy (loading sodas into machine): "Well you know, I'd much rather drop a canned soda than a bottled one."

Random lady: "Really?! That surprises me. Why is that?"

Vendor guy: "Well, you see, if you drop a canned soda, it might dent, but unless it hits a rock (a rock??) it'll just lay there and not leak. But a plastic bottle! They bounce. And they'll keep bouncing and sometimes the plastic cap will shatter and then there's soda everywhere."

Random lady: "Wow, you're right. I never thought about it like that."

Damn, right?

**************

Good Mom pulled me aside and asked for my advice on what to do to lose weight. I gave her a bunch of different tips on how to change her eating habits and be more healthy. She seemed to really be interested and vowed to work on eating less processed foods and incorporate more fiber, fruits and vegetables.

Then, she came back from lunch with a McDonald's bag. I hate it when someone asks my advice and then doesn't take it. Whatever. It's hard to change bad eating habits- I should know.

**************

Speaking of bad eating habits, today is Snack-A-Thon day at the loan center! I got an invitation and everything. Basically, it's a snack food potluck and everyone brought the nastiest snacks they could find.

Oh man, it was something- everything from cupcakes to marinated artichoke hearts. Mostly, it's Chee-Tos and Oreos and doughnuts. Holy crap. I took one look at the table and fled. It's siren call is strong though, and I might find myself wandering back over there this afternoon. We'll see.

*************

I'm at the copier and some woman I've never met or spoken to says

"Turn around so I can see your hair cut!"

I oblige and she goes on and on about how cute it is. So nice, right? Then she says

"It's just so flattering on you....you look like Peter Pan."

Wait, what? Peter Pan? I look like Peter Pan? Is that a good thing? I know that traditionally Peter Pan is played by a woman for stage productions, but still. Peter Pan? She got the not-wanting-to-grow-up part right, anyway.

*************

When I walked in this morning, I was assaulted by the smell of synthetic, rancid, fruit. More specifically, Bath and Body Works Sun Ripened Raspberry. Good Mom had slathered it on in lotion form. Jesus. I thought my sinuses were going to pack up and leave for good.

Folks, do me a favor. If, anywhere in your house or office, you have a Sun Ripened Raspberry product, please immediately throw it away. Immediately. It doesn't smell good at all. No, it doesn't. Trust me, it smells like synthetic, rotting fruit. Do you want to walk around smell like rotting-fruit stank? I didn't think so. Go now and toss it all away and you can thank me later.

*******************************

Okay then, monkeys, have a good weekend! (Except for the Canadian readers- have a good Friday-that's-just-another-work-day-because-Canada-day-was-Tuesday-I-think.)

0 chatty monkeys

last
next
archives
newest
random!
email
notes
profile
reading
links
Keen Designs
Amblus Loves Bikes
Craft Mafia Blog
freshhell
skibigsky
captvfirefly
Smartypants
mayapple
emiloo
schmutzie
legalbeagle
lasvegasliz
gem-chan
Essaywriter
xnavygrrl
rs536-2000
harri3tspy
smedindy
www.flickr.com

design
diaryland

join my Notify List and get email when I update my site:
email:
Powered by NotifyList.com