Making My Monkey Crazy.
Friday, Jun. 13, 2003 @ 4:03 p.m.

Hello! Hello Friday! Woo! Additionally, Hoo! I love me some weekend, y'all. Plans include massive amounts of sleep, equal amounts of bike riding (in preparation for the race next weekend), and attending a cookout my friend Christina and her man Hal are having. The weekend festivities will open with the traditional sushi take-out and video rental Friday night. Party! We're renting 'The Guru' because apparently we just can't get enough of Heather Graham's ta-tas.

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Loan Center Lunch.

I'm working* through my lunch break today so I was forced, by my own lack of planning, to buy my lunch at the loan center cafe. Remember those frightening mystery-meat platters from high-school days of yore? You may also remember similar steam table delicacies from such lovely dining establishments such as "Morrison's Cafeteria" or "The Hot Shoppe". Yeah, that's what we have for lunch at the loan center cafe.

Today's hot lunch was un-identifiable. It was a tray full of gray, fist-sized lumps of meat, covered in a mucus-like, brown gravy. I have no clue, man. I actually scrutinized the lumps, trying to make sense of what I was seeing. This runny mass was served with mashed potatoes and gray peas. Mmmm...lunch.

Other cafe offerings: two kinds of dubious-looking soup (unlabeled), soggy tuna salad on a Croissant (Croi'Sandwich!), grilled beefy sandwich, cheeseburger, hot dog, "fish" sandwich, barbecue sandwich and grilled cheese.

Vegetables? Huh? Oh! Right. The salad bar. There is one, and it's not as scary as you'd think. It's not un-scary, but I've seen worse. (Worst ever- the 70's era salad bar found in a steakhouse in rural Illinois. Two words: Pickled. Everything.)

Mainly my problems with the salad bar are this: wet lettuce, beans floating in goo from the can, lack of real vegetable variety, and six kinds of salad dressing, not one of them labeled. Basically, the dressings are: white, viscous white, white with flecks, orange, lumpy orange and oily goo. Huh. Okay. Great. Anyway, I had a salad of sorts and a roll. Yay for lunch. If by yay I mean fucking hell. Those vending machine Chee-Tos are looking mighty tasty right about now.

*By "working" I mean I'm sitting at my desk, typing away in front of a computer. Actual "work" of the banking kind is not really part of this equation, except that being here is work for me.

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Minimum Wage! Hee-ya!

So, job interview update: I got an email from the Interview Lady, who wanted to know if I could come in Monday and work for a day, just so we could see if I'd fit in, so to speak. The office is tiny and the three of them work in very close quarters, so it's important that the new person fit in. Also, it gives me a chance to see if I like it there. I'm taking this to mean they're considering hiring me, but I don't want to get too excited just yet.

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Something To Bitch About.

Songs that make me want to yell angrily at kittens:

- That one by Creed (okay, all of them)
- "Sex and Candy" Marcy Playground
- "Right Here, Right Now" Jesus Jones
- "Life After Love" Cher
- Many of the choices on VH1's 100 Greatest (see below)

VH1's 100 Greatest Songs from the past 25 years. Are they out of their fucking minds? Destiny's Child? Celine Dion? Nelly? The Backstreet Boys? Shania Twain???? I cannot believe this list. It makes my monkey crazy! Where is Aimee Mann? Where's Morphine? Where's David Bowie? I ask again, WHERE'S THE BOWIE?

And of all the Chili Pepper's songs to pick- Under The Bridge? No no no. Taste The Pain? Yes. Give It Away? Yes. Under The Bridge? No! There is so very much wrong with this list, I don't know where to start. I'm foaming at the mouth, sweaty-toothed and wild-haired. There are certainly some good songs on it, but they're all sandwiched between crap.

"I Wanna Be Sedated" is right next to "I Can't Go For That"? The Ramones and Hall & Oates. Okay, whatever. But "Hot In Herre"? What the hell? How can that be a greatest song? It was written five minutes ago and, oh yeah, it sucks! Also, "Brass In Pocket" is next to "I Want It That Way". So wrong. Please remove the boy band from the vicinity of the Pretenders before the suck rubs off or something.

But then, who am I? I love that Salt 'n Pepper, No Doubt (though it should've been "Spiderwebs", not "Don't Speak"), George Michael, Duran Duran and Devo made the list. I think "Ray of Light" is one of Madonna's best. I think Beck totally deserved to have "Loser" on the list, and should've had a couple more as well.

But holy crap, How is HANSON on this list but not DAVID BOWIE? Revolt, people! This is war!

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Linka-Linka-Loo.

Ha, VH-1's Greatest Songs of Rock and Roll, Adjusted for Not Sucking By Dan, a Viacom Intern, with Minimal Imput from Dan's Older Brother Jim, Whose Girlfriend Just Broke Up With Him Over the Phone.

I want my man TV. If I didn't know better, I'd think this was an Onion article. Men are the new women"? Someone was paid to think of that gem and I think that's what hurts the most. (via TV Tattle.)"

Dude, you must immediately go read this classic entry by Pamie. I had tears streaming down my face, it's that funny.

Have good weekends, my little monkeys!

0 chatty monkeys

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