Cooking With Snark.
Thursday, May. 29, 2003 @ 4:34 p.m.

Sincerely, I love television and watch a lot of it. I also play outside, go to the gym and read many books, so don't look at me like that. Who doesn't love a little mindless entertainment? And is there anything more tiresome than an anti-television snob? "Oh, I don't watch television, I have better things to do with my free time." Pfeh. Fine, go write your symphony and get out of my way- Survivor's on.

Not that you asked, but here's a list of shows I usually watch:

- Buffy The Vampire Slayer
- The Simpsons
- Six Feet Under
- Survivor
- Sex and the City
- What Not To Wear (yes, the annoying American version- we don't get BBC America on our stupid, third-rate cable.)
- That new horrible Supermodel thing.
- Designers Challenge
- House Hunters
- Trading Spaces
- Good Eats
- Oliver's Twist
- $40 A Day

I watched the last three on the list last night and I feel like I should review them for no reason at all except that nothing interesting is currently happening in my life and really, who needs to hear about how it's raining again or how Milton's being really, really annoying or how soul-sucking my temp job is? Right? Don't random TV show reviews sound pretty damn refreshing right about now? Okay then.

***********

Good Eats

Awww, yeah. I love some Alton Brown. He's great because he gets all into the science and history whatever the food du jour is, but he's never boring. Also, his insane preciseness cracks Kenny and I up. Did you see the coffee episode? This man has a twenty four step process to make coffee, people. He measures it on a little scale and everything. Cra-razy. It might take two hours, but it's the BEST DAMN CUP OF COFFEE, EVER. That's dedication.

Last night's episode featured the strawberry. I don't eat many strawberries because they're basically pesticide sponges, but I'll splurge on organic when they come in season. It's worth it.

Anyway, he first made some stuff that involved strawberries, red wine and whipped cream. (Or rather, clotted cream, but that sounds nasty even though I know it's not.) It looked damn good. Booze and fruit is always a good combo.

He also did many other things to strawberries, including a thing that involved a pastry bag tip, potato bread, tin cans and a magnet. Only Alton, man. Finally, we got a forty seven step demonstration on how to properly freeze strawberries. It involved dry ice, a cooler and industrial gloves. To freeze strawberries. I know. I love this show.

***********

Oliver's Twist

Now, Jamie Oliver is quite the fellow and I used to think he was cute, but now I just think he's a goofy dork. My sister thinks he's naff and says he falls into the "moist-lipped bastard" category. (Also in the moist-lipped bastard category is that creepy kid from the Disneyland commercials. Ick.) I have to agree with her there, but man, I love to watch him cook. He just bustles around pounding and squoozing things and ends up with a beautiful and delicious looking meal.

But last night! Ha! He invited his Elvis impersonator mate over for dinner and made an "American/Elvis fast food" kind of meal, only it was pretty damn upscale (The big E. would not have approved). He made burgers from scratch, (like, he bought a chunk of meat and ground it himself) and baked french fries with rosemary and garlic, which looked really nice. But then! Then, he said he was going to make a truly American "chopped salad". Dude, what? What the hell is a chopped salad?

He proceeded to chop the hell out of a bunch of vegetables and then made a dressing from scratch right in the middle. It looked great, but I'm an American and I've never heard of any such thing. Maybe he was trying for a tossed salad and just got confused? Anyway, it's was fun to watch.

***********

$40 A Day

This would be a great show if Rachael Ray wasn�t in it. Could she be more freaking annoying? Her voice alone just makes me want to break things and she's always trying to ingratiate herself with everyone. "Be my friend! I'm the wacky tourist! I only got 40 bucks!" The show's concept, of a tourist seeking out the best food on a budget, is cool, but as a poor person, the idea $40 being a tight budget for a day's eats is laughable. Anyway, I enjoy the variety and travel-ness of it if nothing else.

******************************

Tasty Links

Area Man Constantly Mentioning He Doesn't Own A Television. "If I need a fix of passive audio-visual stimulation, I'll go to catch a Bergman or Truffaut film down at the university."

The Single Man's Guide to TV Dinners. Amusing but also kinda gross.

Ha, this credit card prank is super-hilarious. I'm going to start signing mine as "Cheeky Monkey". (via the web goddess)

0 chatty monkeys

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