Some days, I come into work and I'm fine. It's just a job, I do my job, I go home. But other days, like today, I can barely stand being here and my work feels like some sort of oppressive punishment. I feel like I'd rather dig ditches than have to script another file or listen to Milton's angry typing for one more second. My job here is pretty dull and repetitive and I know it could be worse, but how long am I actually going to have to do this? Today is going to be a long day.

Today, Milton is a big part of the problem. His nervous, stressed out energy makes me tense and I wish he'd just settle the fuck down. Earlier, he made a trip to the supply room, and on his return, startled me by throwing (with unnecessary force) an un-asked-for packet of Post-Its on my desk. A gift? A warning? An act of repressed aggression? Who the fuck knows?

And then there's his telephone issue. I have a file I need his help with, and twice he's abandoned me by lunging towards his ringing phone. He is such a slave to that thing and I don't get it. It's not like he's the freaking president of the United States with the Red Phone ringing ominously, you know? 90% of his calls are from impatient bankers who want to know if the appraisal is in. (It's not.)

90% of his calls should go into voicemail because they're a waste of his time. He can't do it though. He is totally that phone's bitch. It pisses me off and also makes my job harder because I still don't know what to do with this stupid file.

Why am I here? Why don't I have a real job yet?

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In order to shut down the whining, I will commence to listing.

Stuff I like.

-Candied ginger. It's candy, but not candy. It's sweet and also spicy, just like me (snort). Lovely.

-Pugs. I love a pug dog, folks. I don't have one, but man, I will fall to the ground in front of any poor fool who happens to be walking a pug in my vicinity. I once made friends with two pugs in the middle of a street in Georgetown, while their elderly owner sang their praises and said I should get one of my own. Like I don't know it! If I ever get a pug, I'll name him Mr. Dog Frumples or Lily. Love the pug. Love their sweet squishy faces and pig-like snorty noises.

-Bev's Homemade Ice Cream. The fancy flavors are great, but the basics- vanilla, chocolate and strawberry, are unbelievable. Mmmm...local.

-My new bike jersey that I got on eBay. It's red and black and cute like it belongs to Paola Pezzo.

Stuff I don't like.

-The Buseys. Gary, Jake, all of them. They skeeve me out and ruin everything. There's a scary website dedicated to all things Busey, but I'm not linking to it, no way.

-My cube neighbor�s cell phone that has a different ring tone for everything. It rings all day long with a variety of annoying sounds. The trilly ring is a reminder to let her know it's time to eat. I don't even know what to do with that.

-Men at the gym who don't wipe the weight machines down when they're done. The gym provides ample paper towels and disinfectant just for this purpose! Make use of them! Please! It's always the men, too. Do they really think I have a deep-rooted desire to roll around in their skanky sweat deposits? Freak-ass disgusting.

-Raisins. Raisins are not nature's candy. The whole "nature's candy" bullshit is a big lie perpetuated by well-meaning hippie parents. Raisins are, in truth, nasty little bits of chewy (and gritty!) ick that people use to ruin otherwise perfectly lovely oatmeal cookies.

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So Many Links. See how hard I work for you?

When I was a kid, I loved the book Half Magic by Edward Eager, and now it's being made into a movie.

Alias Grace, an excellent book by Margaret Atwood is also being made into a movie. They better not screw it up.

Drunken Creed Impersonator! (link courtesy of Obscurestore.com).

If you've been watching 'Manor House', go take the Snob Quiz and find out what percentage of snob you are. I'm 48% snob. What can I say? I judge shoes. Also, Kenny the Hall Boy tells all! (link courtesy of tvtattle.com).

The Peregrine Falcon Cam is addictive.

0 chatty monkeys