It happened again. I was assaulted by the Spirit Council. It's evil to have to face that kind of in-your-face, forced jollity, especially first thing in the morning. Eight women (four on each side) lined up on either side of the front door, lying in wait for unsuspecting employees to walk in so they can shriek GOOD MORNING! repeatedly. This sort of behavior doesn't fill me with spirit, it fills me with rage. I wanted to punch them in the face. I hate this shit.

Just to add insult to injury, they're broadcasting the monthly spirit awards ceremony over the loud speaker. Unfortunately the woman who's talking right now doesn't understand that you don't have to YELL INTO A MICROPHONE. For real, the whole point of the microphone is to make your voice loud, so pipe the fuck down, lady. And the cow bells? Don't even get me started.

I think I'm supposed to go to this awards thing, but why? I'll never get an award, so why should I care who else does? As a temp, I have no investment in this company. Also, my boss usually has me attend the team meetings, which also makes no sense to me. The meetings are never about anything that affects me and I usually am not even told there is a meeting, so it's always a surprise. Nice, huh?

Aw, crap. Now the Bank of X choir is singing America The Beautiful. Kill me.

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Woo.

I think in general, I don't like being forced to emote. Perfect example: I went to a free-weights class last night and the instructor was new. The regular instructors are generally pretty laid back; they don't randomly yell "woo" or require more than the average amount of feedback.

But holy crap, not this girl! She was a cheerleader, and by God, she was going to make us play along! Woo! She was all "Tell me how you're doing! Are you doing okay? Smile! Everybody looks so unhappy! It's not that bad! Smile! Come on, how's everyone feeling? I can't hear you!!"

Now, it was a bleak and rainy Monday night and we were all exercising when we'd probably rather be at home eating something comforting and watching tv. I think showing up and working out is enough of a challenge without being constantly berated for not smiling or wooing or whatever it was she was looking for.

I will say, she did make me happy by repeatedly trying to correct the form of a guy Kate and I call Ass Monkey. Ass Monkey is the guy who takes group classes, but then just does his own thing right there in the middle of the class. Anyone who takes time out to pick on Ass Monkey is okay by me.

Also, I woke up this morning all sore, so the class was certainly effective. When I'm training for a race I usually lay off the weights, so it had been a couple of weeks. Tonight- spinning class!

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Entertainment Linkness.

My boy Jude Law has been busy! Currently he's in talks to star in a re-make of Alfie. Personally, I cannot wait for Cold Mountain to be released. I loved the book like family and I'm curious to see how it translates on screen. I'm fine with Jude Law as Inman and I think Nicole Kidman can pull off Ada (though she wouldn't have been my first choice) but Renee Zellwegger as Ruby? I don't think so.

Hey, Faith returns to Buffy next week! That'll make Kenny happy.

Aw, man. I wish I'd found this article last week when I talked about bad tattoo ideas.

Oops, Britney Spears' restaurant has gone bankrupt.

Check out Blind Item Rehash for help with figuring out who the hell Ted is talking about.

Depressing Linkage.

How sad is the death of David Bloom? Kenny and I saw him reporting the day before he died and we both thought he looked dreadful- all sun burnt and dehydrated. He was only 39. I hope President Bush is proud of himself.

0 chatty monkeys